Who would have thought that a HANDWRITING post would generate my first lil hateful comment? Not me. In fact, I thought it was rather UNCONTROVERSIAL. Apparently, this reader feels like, “I am always posting about how good I am at everything” and “I seem to think everything I do is awesome.”
Well, just to clarify, I don’t think that. I honestly thought I kept it pretty self-depracating around here. I suppose I just don’t spend time blogging things I am an EPIC FAIL at. And believe me, that list would be longggg.
But, for you, dear, sweet, person who thinks you’re ANONYMOUS (though, I’m willing to bet money that I know who you are!), I will post a list of things you probably wouldn’t like about me if you knew me for realz:
1) I am terrible at math. As in, the most basic of addition can stump me, and don’t even bother asking me a fraction-decimal question. I tutored some 5th graders last year, and believe me when I tell you that their math really made me GRIND MY GEARS.
2) My car is not always clean. I commute at least an hour each way, which means there is a menagerie of coffee cups and snacks and teacher crap. I have been much better about this as of late, but to my knowledge, there is still a liter of Diet Coke on my passenger seat. Sorry.
3) I am organized, but I do procrastinate. Currently, I have a stack of papers a mile high I need to grade. I hate grading. So, I don’t do it right away. Then, I get all short and stressy and frantic. The last two weeks of any quarter are guarenteed to be hellish, and that is totally my fault.
4) I can be socially awkward. I get nervous making phone calls, and trust me when I saw I prefer G-chat to the telephone. It’s not you, it’s me. I get wicked nervous when I meet new people. And while I might put on the brave face, I don’t like it at all and am usually trying to not pass out or sound ridiculous. It’s true.
5) I am a perfectionist. I like things my way and while I usually try and keep this under control, it occasionally rears its ugly head.
6) I sometimes take jokes too far. Listen, if something is funny to me, I’m gonna keep it rockin’. This annoys some people. But look: I don’t tease people I don’t genuinely LIKE. If I don’t like you, I don’t joke with you. So, my sarcasm is like a special hug.
7) I AM THE WORST AT MAKING DECISIONS. Like, the very, very worst person ever. I never want to choose where to have dinner or what time to meet or where to go. I am the worst. When I have to make major life decisions? EVEN WORSE. I hem and haw, and beg everyone around me TO MAKE THE CHOICE FOR ME. I just hate it. I want a crystal ball and someone else to choose while I remit complete control of all involved in the situation. Which I never get. And that troubles me.
So, to all y’all who seem to think I view myself as a perfect creature, here ya go. And this? This is just the stuff I am willing to blog. Also, side note: have you read all of my weight loss posts? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT.