On fall…

I’ve already written about the silly reason I really, really love fall, but in all seriousness, it’s easily my favorite season.

Fall isn’t necessarily the easiest season.  While the trees light up in red and orange, there is also the death.  Leaves fall to the ground, away from where they’ve lived so comfortably for the past seasons, happily attached and settled in their tree.  The air grows heavy, crisp, chilly and the sun isn’t out nearly as often, leading to darker nights huddled under covers and blankets.  The chill and early rainstorms let us know that winter is on it’s way, and soon the skies will be dark and grey.

As a child, I hated this time.  I wanted all sunshine, all the time.  I used to begrudge winter as a season to be endured, not enjoyed.  Fall itself seemed depressing, because I was forever holding my breath for what would come next, all but ignoring it’s beautiful colors and scents and the taste of pumpkin.  As I grow older, I’ve learned to enjoy fall, and even winter.  You have to have the darkness to enjoy the light—I doubt the warmth of summer would be nearly as sweet if I didn’t have winter’s cold to compare it to.

Now, I love fall.  I see it as a letting go.  Fall makes me pensive and introspective, as I look to shed the things that no longer serve me, just as trees release the leaves that are no longer needed.  I tend to reflect on the year that has passed by me, seeing friendships, thoughts and ideas float up away from me like little ghosts, while others return after months of not thinking about them, hovering above me, making me wonder what might have been, what could be still.

Still, fall is firmly for letting go, for making plans.  It shows up in the little things: I reformatted my computer, letting go of two years of gunk and junk.  I’ve cleaned my closet, and am starting to fill it with clothes that fit the way I’m trying to act and feel and dress.  I’m dreaming big.  I’m investing in new friendships, and learning to let go of others.  I’m trying to enjoy the gorgeous weather, the process of saying goodbye, and preparing for the snuggle down that is winter.



Filed under life with titch

9 responses to “On fall…

  1. Huge Fall Lover here. I always felt like all the other seasons were just prepping me for Fall, the Big & Best Season. That’s when school starts. And I’m a school junkie. Also, Fall colors look best on me. So, all-around, right there w/ya.

  2. I like summer and sunshine best too, but fall I can tolerate. It’s cold Wisconsin winters that made me want to get into the fetal position and not move for 6 months. I could never live in cold climate again.

  3. Maria

    I love you please don’t ever let go of our friendship….xo M
    ps I LOVE LOVE LOVE the part “you have to have the darkness to enjoy the light” this is true in so many facets of life itself…~Blessings always~ M

  4. I love fall! Unfortunately, here in Florida, it is still over 90 degress. So it sure doesn’t feel like fall. I envy all the bloggers posting about the beautiful fall.
    Also, I just cleaned out my closet and only kept the clothes I loved and that fit me today. It feels so good to look in my closet now and now I can wear everything in it.

  5. Gina

    I hope I’m not a friendship your letting go!!!! Let’s get together for coffee soon! Love ya Miss Amy!

  6. I absolutely love this entry. You’re a brilliant writer. I feel every single thing you’ve written here, and aside from us both being huge goofballs, I think we’re both having the same love affair with fall.

    PS, re: your comment… I almost included my tendency to pop Dan’s pimples… I wish I had now that I know I’m not the only person who does it!

  7. CHi

    so you cleaned your computer of all the “gunk and junk” aka all your pipeline crap? hahahaha. LOVE YA AMY!

  8. This post made me smile. I’m so happy we found each other in this big-ass blogosphere!!

    Much love and hugs.

  9. awmb

    I feel the exact same way, and actually just blogged about it. I feel that in some ways I feel more emotional in the fall, but in the end I realize that it’s not depression but reflection, with a bit of loneliness.

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