I’ve already written about the silly reason I really, really love fall, but in all seriousness, it’s easily my favorite season.
Fall isn’t necessarily the easiest season. While the trees light up in red and orange, there is also the death. Leaves fall to the ground, away from where they’ve lived so comfortably for the past seasons, happily attached and settled in their tree. The air grows heavy, crisp, chilly and the sun isn’t out nearly as often, leading to darker nights huddled under covers and blankets. The chill and early rainstorms let us know that winter is on it’s way, and soon the skies will be dark and grey.
As a child, I hated this time. I wanted all sunshine, all the time. I used to begrudge winter as a season to be endured, not enjoyed. Fall itself seemed depressing, because I was forever holding my breath for what would come next, all but ignoring it’s beautiful colors and scents and the taste of pumpkin. As I grow older, I’ve learned to enjoy fall, and even winter. You have to have the darkness to enjoy the light—I doubt the warmth of summer would be nearly as sweet if I didn’t have winter’s cold to compare it to.
Now, I love fall. I see it as a letting go. Fall makes me pensive and introspective, as I look to shed the things that no longer serve me, just as trees release the leaves that are no longer needed. I tend to reflect on the year that has passed by me, seeing friendships, thoughts and ideas float up away from me like little ghosts, while others return after months of not thinking about them, hovering above me, making me wonder what might have been, what could be still.
Still, fall is firmly for letting go, for making plans. It shows up in the little things: I reformatted my computer, letting go of two years of gunk and junk. I’ve cleaned my closet, and am starting to fill it with clothes that fit the way I’m trying to act and feel and dress. I’m dreaming big. I’m investing in new friendships, and learning to let go of others. I’m trying to enjoy the gorgeous weather, the process of saying goodbye, and preparing for the snuggle down that is winter.