A touch of “le crazy”

The thing is, that sometimes?  I’m pretty sure I’m a little bit crazy, or as my friend KK would say, I’m a little bit “cray cray.”

Exhibit A: I really, really think that it would be amazing if someone figured out a toilet that could be in your car.  Listen, I hate driving, and I really hate when trips take longer than necessary because I have to stop and pee, which happens approximately 100 times a trip.  Why oh why can’t someone come up with some sort of built in seat toilet?  I was discussing this with Andrew the other night, when he reminded me of the biggest problem of all (you know, besides attaching some tank for draining, the smell, the cleanliness): PANTS.  Man!  Pants ruin everything.

Exhibit B: Paranoia like whoa.  I was on the phone with my friend Emily the other night as she was going to her volleyball open gym night.  She mentioned that there was a bit of a suspicious character ogling her as she waited to go in to the gym.  I offered her my advice for what I do in the same situation: TALK ON YOUR PHONE LIKE YOU ARE TALKING TO SOMEONE.  It works, yo.  If the creepozoid watching you thinks that someone else is on the line and knows your location, than it’s pretty likely that he’ll leave you the heck alone!  PROBLEM SOLVED.  Bonus paranoia tip?  If you enter your house, hotel room, etc. alone, than yell, “Hey!  I’m home” regardless of whether the only other living thing in the apartment is your cat or your mint plant.  THE CRAZY PERSON DOESN’T KNOW THAT.

True story: as we were having this conversation, Emily said, “Oh my goodness, can you write a blog post about this?”

“About my safety prevention tips?” I asked.

“No.  About HOW YOU’RE CRAZY.”

Exhibit C: A mess of little reasons such as my penchant for odd numbers, my strange germophobia, the way I make my cat dance with me (both slow AND fast dance) and sing to him, and a billion other things.

Still, I like to think I’m just the right sort of crazy.  It’s rare that I’ll turn down a night of dancing, or taking a picture of some weirdo, or doing something spur of the moment.  I like to laugh, it’s rare I fear making a bit of an idiot of myself, and I like to have fun.

I mean, I like to have fun AFTER I check my backseat for a serial killer.

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22 Comments

Filed under life with titch

22 responses to “A touch of “le crazy”

  1. Thats alright, my little bit of crazy involves making my dog “sing” as a party trick. He has 2 songs that he likes to sing to, Rock On by David Essex and Rompe by Daddy Yankee, it is a diverse taste but it never ever fails!

  2. Christina

    I find that you are just the right kind of crazy. I also like to think I am just the right kind of crazy as well. This makes people like us not so boring, not so average, and way more interesting!

  3. I like crazy. Crazy is fun, unpredictable, hilarious, fascinating. Crazy is also best when it’s balanced with love, patience, sanity…you know. All that “un-crazy” stuff. And you’ve got it all…

    (This comment reads kind of creepy… I’m aware of this, but the sentiment is whole-heartedly non-creepy, I swear!)

  4. Mint plants have been known to save lives. I’m pretty paranoid too. But I feel that if I take ALL precautions, I will live longer. Or die sooner from the stress of it all. Here’s to Crazy!

  5. That tip about walking into the house and pretending someone else is there was one of my grandma’s favorite pieces of advice to give out. And I love the cell phone thing, that would have come in handy a few times in college. Instead, I would pretend I was at my car even if I wasn’t, to see if the guy would walk past. I have no idea what I’d have done if there had been a real attacker, because seriously, being at my car would not have been a deterrent.
    On a related note, my son is now 16 months old and I still do that going into his room to make sure he’s breathing thing no less than three times per night.

  6. Exhibit B: Paranoia like whoa is so not crazy. I always felt unsafe walking from my cat to my house until I started doing that. I also wave up to the window that faces the alley when it takes me forever to get the padlock off. I worry less about funbling around for too long and getting attacked when I make a big show like someone is watching.

  7. here’s to that right kind of crazy! and i always make an idiot out of myself!

    xo

  8. ohhayitskk

    oh my gosh. i do that too. i talk on my phone like i’m talking to someone and i’m all, “I’LL BE HOME SOON HONEY!” cray cray indeed. you are cray cray with the best of em, and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

  9. Jo

    I am the same with the paranoia. I once made my friend come over because I was scared to go downstairs….Also when I park far away from my house I always call someone so they do in fact know where I am.

    But maybe that makes me crazy too.

  10. tabithablogs

    HA! Love it. My favorite part is that you were already ON the phone with your friend when you told her to act like she was on the phone in order to get the stalker to give it up… But basically everything you wrote is stuff I do/think about/say…which is why I keep reading your awesome blog. 🙂

  11. I like your safety tips. My husband is the same kind of paranoid and it’s rubbing off on me!

  12. “‘About my safety prevention tips?’ I asked.

    ‘No. About HOW YOU’RE CRAZY.'”

    You’re not crazy – you’re actually incredibly intelligent, at least as far as these safety tips are concerned… ;o)

    Now, about the toilet in the car thing… that’s a whole other story entirely…

  13. Alyson

    Omg…I ALWAYS check my backseat for a serial killer, pretend someone’s at home if I’m coming home to an empty house, and used to make Bertie dance with me too! Love it!

  14. Alyson

    Of course, that doesn’t really help you because you already knew I was crazy too! What you need is a really sane person to validate your actions! 🙂

  15. ebj123

    I SO want a car toilet.

  16. re: your comment, okay seriously, I didn’t mean that against you whatsofreakingever. Your post just reminded me of this hilarious story and I had to share it. I wanted to give you linkback kudos because I love your blog and you’re seriously funny.

    I hope I didn’t crap in your cornflakes… it wasn’t personal, I swear to the gods.

    ~Jenn (Ex Hot Girl)

  17. Katy

    I always check under my car whenever walking up to it at night. There, that gives you one more thing to be paranoid over. Sorry…

  18. It is crazy to check your backseat before getting in? I just thought it was normal to do that! Right? Because you don’t want to be like that scary story where the guy behind the girl driver keeps flashing his brights and she is all freaked out that he is stalking her and then finds out that there was a guy with a knife in the backseat. It is not crazy to think about that. Right?

    P.S. I have been reading you for a while and finally decided to comment!

  19. Um, you need to be on meds. Seriously.

    Toilet in the car? YUCK! The car would smell like pee all the time and who the hell wants to have to do deal with that on a car trip? Not I.

  20. “Pants ruin everything.” This is my quote of the year. It’s SO TRUE! I have a bladder the size of a walnut and I would buy your toilet-in-a-car invention. Get on it, sister!

    P.S. I like your crazy!

  21. lol! I love that she wanted you to write a post about how you’re ‘crazy’…

    …when I’ve had all those thoughts, many times, and obviously we’re just meant to be friends.

    It all makes sense now, right? 😉

  22. i also check the backseat for serial killers. seriously, ladies, not doing so is just silly.

    also, after my wreck 2 winters ago, i call/text my mom and my 2 bffs any time i travel somewhere, whether it be plane, train, or automobile. just so that when i go missing one of them can say “she texted me at 10am and she was in xyz location.” or, you know, if the plane crashes or something.

    crazy and careful both start with a c. coincidence? i think not.

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