Hi from Reno, NV!

I’ve written before about what it’s like to have a boyfriend who plays poker for a living, but I don’t think I’ve written about the joy that is Reno, NV, where many major tournament series’ are held.  Andrew and I make the drive up here fairy regularly so he can play some larger games.  And while I generally love being here with him, enjoying a hotel room with an amazing bed and getting good sleep, I have to admit that Reno itself is a totally trashy, weird city.

Reno is a poor man’s Vegas.  If Vegas is comprised of the glitz and the glam of a midway, than Reno is comprised of the carnies who clean it up.  Vegas is crawling with beautiful people and action and excitement, and Reno is full of…well, I don’t even know how to describe it.

Let me just tell you about my first two hours here yesterday: I arrived, had valet take my car (oh please—it’s free!) and entered the casino.  I needed to use the restroom before finding Andrew, so I found my way through a sea of mullets, denim on denim ensembles and a billion little kids running towards the arcade.  I finally entered the women’s restroom, did my thing, and as I was leaving, I heard a woman start to puke.  Cue panic for me!  Once outside, I was headed towards the poker room when an adolescent boy jumped out from behind a trashcan and scared me to death.  Like, enough to make me shout, “What the eff is WRONG WITH YOU?”  He apologized and said he thought I was his friend.

Righhht.

Next, I dodged a crowd of 40-something women wearing matching slot tournament t-shirts, a crew of dudes spilling beers all over the place, including on my shoes. I kept walking until I was blocked.  Not by any ordinary person, but by a woman whose adult midget child was clinging to her back.  I felt badly, but I really couldn’t stop LOOKING because I am obviously a terrible person.  But the man-child was just hanging there, clinging like a monkey.

This, my friends, is Reno.  Sound intriguing?  Care to book a vacation?  How do you know if Reno is for you?

Reno is the place for you if you enjoy…

—Wearing denim jeans, with denim jacket and denim embroidered shirts.  Denim is the official fabric of Reno!

—Have a mullet!  The 80’s never die in Reno!

—Being a cougar.  There are a million lovely cover bands playing shows in casinos so you can wear your daughter’s clothes and get down and dirty with it!

—Eating at buffets!  Be sure to get in line at least 45 minutes early, just in case they run out of crab!

—Walking impossibly slow.  Seriously.  If it takes you 30+ minutes to navigate the floor of a casino, this is the place for you!

—Are you a chain smoker?  These are your people.  You’ll fit in even better if you like blowing it in people’s faces!

—Do you talk to yourself?  Please sit yourself in front of a machine, place yourself in an elevator and make yourself at home.

—Rock rapist glasses and pedophile beards?

This, my friends, is Reno.  Visit soon.  And by visit, I mean SAVE ME!

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15 Comments

Filed under life with titch

15 responses to “Hi from Reno, NV!

  1. pinwheel28

    You know how people type “lol” but they aren’t really “lol”ing? (I’ve noticed this with my friend who now has a webcam…he still types “lol” but he totally has a straight face most of the time). Anyway, I’m really “lol”ing at this Reno post. Too bad the tournaments aren’t somewhere nicer. Oh well…

  2. laughing hysterically. the reno chamber of commerce needs to hire you. i totally want to visit!

    xo

  3. The bad boy look is for pussies?!?!?! HAAAAAA!!!
    (hope you survive)

  4. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. (And take lots of photos and send them to me, please.) PS – how did Andrew do?

  5. That is an absolutely perfect description of Reno. It is SUCH a strange place! Carson City is pretty weird, too. But hey, you’re so close to Tahoe, one of the most beautiful places on earth.

  6. Dude, I talk to myself! Reno is totally for me!!

  7. I’ve been to Reno a few times, but once on the way there, the car I was riding in started making some interesting sounds, so we found our way to a Pep Boys in the city to have it fixed. And we were there FOR HOURS and were forced to watch some really terrible channel on the microscopic television mounted in the corner of the ceiling in the waiting room and then when I finally complained about the TV station, some guy working there goes, “Why don’t you just change the channel with the remote?” I said there IS no remote, that’s why we’re watching whatever this crap is we’re watching. And then he pointed to a stick in the corner. WHICH WAS THE “REMOTE.” I was supposed to just poke the channel button with it.

    GOODBYE FOREVER, RENO

  8. Is it bad that I LOVE buffets? It’s kind of an embarrassing love, though. Really.

    And I’ve always wanted to go to Reno. But now….not so sure?

  9. I’m on my way! I’m a cougar, or at least I wanna be. 😉

  10. ohhayitskk

    andrew plays professional poker? that is maybe the best thing i’ve ever heard.

  11. AWESOME use of the rapist glasses and pedophile beard video. Gah, I love that video.

  12. Christina

    Well your description makes it sound so amazing… maybe I can pick up a new man there!

    totally kidding! 🙂

  13. Pingback: Hi from Reno, NV! « Just A Titch | Reno up date today

  14. Sommerlovin'

    I live in reno and it is actually a beautiful place, you have to look outside the casinos to find the real beauty. It is an hr away from Tahoe and has amazing things to offer. The views are breath taking and the people are friendly. Please do not judge the city by the experience within the casino’s. Those of you wanting to visit if you do it right Reno is an awesome place!

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