One of my biggest pet peeves in writing is when people try and make really surface occurances “deeper” than necessary. While I like talking about the serious things in life, I am super aware of the ridiculousness that can be “I saw a dove fly in front of my car and all of a sudden, I had peace!” or “I was just sitting there, and then I threw away my white skirt and it was like my innocence was gone, get it? Because it was white?”
I’m not saying that I don’t have those moments, because trust me, I DO. But I am not quite crazy enough to tell anyone about them, unless I’m half a bottle of white into the conversation. And then, my friends, you’ll know I’m in the mood to talk business because I’ll lean on my hand, stare at you all googly-eyed and say, “Do you know what I’ve been thinking about?” Just FYI: you probably don’t want to know.
Still, this morning, I took the time to clear out some crap from my computer. My computer is pretty darn full right now, with pictures, old writing, school stuff and about eleventy billion songs in my iTunes. I was scrolling through my library and could hardly believe the utter musical crap I had in there. One thing I’m definitely guilty of is downloading things because other people think they’re awesome. I’ll get a recommendation from someone I think has good taste, or a cute boy (not anymore, obvs. Okay, sometimes, but it’s no big deal and don’t worry, Andrew, I still listen to lots of Counting Crows for you, baby) or something else makes me deem a band download-worthy, whether or not I actually like much of what I hear.
So, I got a little delete-happy. The stupid bands I pretended to like to impress an old friend who was a total music snob? GONE. An entire mix of songs devoted to a trip with an ex? GONE. A band (okay, several band) that all the “cool kids” seem to really like but I just can’t seem to get in to? GONE.
It felt really good. Profound, even. I feel better, lighter, more at home in my own iTunes library. And yes, I realize that’s a silly statement. But for some reason, this whole season of my life feels like I’m growing into my own skin. I have some things on the horizon that I can’t help but be excited about. I’m going back to hot yoga. I’m going to be an adult literacy tutor. I’m finally going to be making a decent salary. I’ve got some crafty aspirations on the horizon, a plan to read a number of “classics” that I somehow escaped in college despite being an English major, a new journal and pen, and a whole lot of big thoughts floating around.
And now, I’ll have the perfect soundtrack to go with it.