THIS is why I have a blog

To be honest, it’s been “one of those mornings.”  I woke up with a big smile, because I thought it was Friday. 


I had to go to the store on my way to work because it’s everyone’s birthday today.  Seriously.  2 at my school, 3 outside of school and of course, President Obama!  I needed to bring cards, chocolate and the works, especially for my boss.

Anyways, when I was grabbing a massive candy bar for a co-workers birthday, I ran across a woman who was doing her shopping and talking to herself incessantly.  She was muttering about the price of Werther’s Originals being “so damn high these days” and kept looking my general direction.  I smiled politely and ignored her.

When I got up to the cash register to pay, I was making small talk with the cashier when Muttery Mutterson came up behind me.  She looked at me, and said something that seemed to be directed at me.

“Excuse me?” I said.

“I was just remarking that I hate your dress!  It’s hideous!”

I was stunned into silence, and the cashier just stood there too, mouth agape for about 30 seconds, collected herself and then said, “Well, I think it’s adorable.”  Muttery sniffed audibly and rolled her eyes while the cashier gave me my reciept.

Muttery just went about her business, looking for her checkbook and talking to herself as if she hadn’t just insulted the hell out of someone SHE DOESN’T KNOW.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her that her saggy black pants and kitten t-shirt didn’t exactly go with her fetching, MASSIVE black sunglasses and that her Teva’s went out of style in 1990.

I hope she and her 17 cats have a very happy life together.

Oh, and for the record, as soon as I arrived at work, my most fashionable friend said, “God, I love it when you wear that dress!”

SO THERE, cat lady.  I WIN.

This is why I hate people.



Filed under life with titch

11 responses to “THIS is why I have a blog

  1. LOL…I needed that description of the crazy cat lady to brighten my day, thanks!! What a weirdo & I am sure your dress was perfectly great!! :O)

  2. amerikasweetness

    Oh, Amy. I LOVED this post. Stupid cat lady. I think you should take a pic of this dress and share with us! I’m sure the cat lady has Tourettes. 🙂

  3. Even IF your dress was ugly (and I’m by no means willing to concede that), who feels the need to tell a stranger? I’m going to work on being positive now so I don’t grow up bitter!

  4. kel

    Go on with your bad self and tell that cat lazy who’s boss.

  5. Seychelle

    I died laughing at this. Too funny. Why am I picturing this whole thing in Longs. I swear I always see Cat Lady’s there, buying massive amounts of canned tuna, they probably share with their felines. Ahhh I LOVE your humor! (and knowing you, the dress was proabaly freaking cute)

  6. Ari

    OMG! Who does that?!

    Though your story did brighten my day . . . I laughed real hard

  7. I would like to second the request for a photo of your dress! I’m thinking that someone who would wear saggy black pants and a kitten tshirt is probably not someone you should listen to for fashion advice.

  8. Christina

    Wow! Cat Lady needs to go home with her Fancy Feast and frozen dinners for one and hush! Sheesh! I am sure you looked awesome today! Share a pic of that dress! 🙂

  9. LOL who the heck does that?

    P.S. I’m sure the dress is completely adorable.

  10. pinwheel28

    Who SAYS that?! It’s obvious…she was jealous. Reminds me of the day that I tried putting my basket in the stack by the register. It wouldn’t fit in all the way, so I just left it. The lady behind me goes, “Is THAT the way we put the baskets back now? Ugh!”

  11. Eww. She sounds like a major FFP (fashion faux pas). I’m sure your dress was cute. Eww I’m still mad at that lady!

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