When Andrew and I spent the day in Tahoe last week, I failed to mention one very important activity: MINIATURE GOLFING. I’d been mini golfing at this course as a kid, and had some fond memories of going there. Apparently, my memory failed to remind me of how creepy this golf course is. When you arrive, you get to pick your course, and I selected the Storybook themed course. Um, remind me to never, ever read this “storybook” to any small children before bed.
Here are some of the holes:
This hole was titled “THE NUTCRAKER.” I assume they meant “Nutcracker.”
DO NOT STARE DIRECTLY INTO THE EYES OF THE NUTCRAKER!
Aww, look, a cute little bear!
Yes, his eyes were painted like that intentionally.
This was affixed to the bear’s ummmm, bathing suit area. If bears wore bathing suits. Anyways, apparently, he wanted a landing strip?! I don’t even know what to say about this. Hey, kids! It’s totally normal that there’s a weird strip of hair there! Keep golfing!
Oh, hey troll! You totally look like you belong in a storybook!
Here, we have Jack of Jack In The Beanstalk fame. Jack has kind of a J. Lo booty, huh?! So child friendly, this mini-golf course!
Ahh, the cross-eyed Humpty Dumpty of my childhood! Just how I pictured him!
This little monkey was on another course, but I snuck a picture over the fence because it was so freaking creepy.
Yes, kids, ants are a staple of stories, and they are also LARGE ENOUGH TO EAT A SMALL CHILD.
In case you weren’t creeped out enough, the last hole includes this little exhibitionist, posed for your awkwardness!
Ladies and gentleman, my boyfriend.
This little guy bids you farewell!
Miniature golfing has never been so
obscene scary inappropriate FUN!