I’ve dated a lot of jerks, but discussing my terrible date reminded me of another experience I had at the same bar. This time, I was out with my friend Jen grabbing drinks after dinner. It was November, and absolutely freezing. I was decked out in a sweater and jeans, and was waiting in line for the bathroom, which happens to be near the outside area for the bar. As per usual at stupid bars that choose to make the women’s restroom one stall, there was a line of nearly 30 women, while the guys line was moving quickly. I was leaned up against a wall, with my arms crossed, trying to keep warm while I waited in an endless line.
“You’re such a pretty girl, hun, but you know…when you stand with your arms crossed like that, you look like a real BITCH!”
I snapped my head up, and before me stood a guy in a kilt, apparently performing with some sort of bagpipe group.
“Excuse me?” I said.
“Yeah, I mean, you’re cute and everything, but you look really unapproachable, all bundled up and arms crossed and all that. I’m just tellin’ you, sweetheart. You’re never gonna get a good guy, standing like that.”
I was in shock.
“Um, it’s cold.” I said. “I’m not a bitch, it’s just cold.”
“Well, I don’t know that! To me, it looks like you just don’t want to talk to me.”
He looked flabbergasted by this information, and then opened his mouth again, again informing me that I looked like a huge bitch, and that he was just offering friendly advice.
“Good thing I don’t take advice from guys WHO WEAR SKIRTS.”
You’d think that after I insulted his choice in outfits and clearly resisted him, he’d stop talking. But nope. Opened his mouth once again. Finally, the girl standing next to me had enough.
“Look, dude. Girls hate assholes like you. She doesn’t want to talk to you. Why don’t you go pee and SHUT THE HELL UP!?”
It was his turn to use the men’s restroom, so he went in and peed. And when he came out?
All 20 million women in line crossed their arms as he did the walk of shame past us.
While I don’t understand the kind of douche bags who say these things to perfect strangers, but I do love, love, love that when those girls saw that jerk behaving that way, we all banded together to make him feel like an ass. Girls are the best.