Chug, chug, chug!

It’s time for another installment of Bad Dates I’ve Been On. This one could actually be my favorite, because this guy was clearly so weird and rude and awful in general. This was another friend of a friend. A friend of mine had some people over, and apparently, this guy was a friend of her boyfriend’s and he thought I was cute (I have NO recollection of meeting him, so…) and got my email address.

Via email, this guy was hilarious. He asked good questions, made me laugh and seemed incredibly intelligent. One of the funniest emails he sent me was a top ten list of things that suck about dating, before asking me to meet him for a beer at one of my favorite bars. I was really excited, because he seemed so funny. He definitely wasn’t the cutest guy ever, but I love people who are funny and figured if anyone could make me laugh out loud over email couldn’t be too terrible.

I arrived at the bar that night in my cutest outfit, and found him sitting outside with a beer in front of him. I grabbed a framboise and joined him.

And then, he just sat there.

I asked about his day, a family event he’d attended the weekend before, made observations about the weather, prattled on about friends. I got yes or no answers, an an occasional grunt. After 15 minutes, I was just spent. I looked at him expectantly, waiting for the hilarious email guy I’d gotten to know to chime in.

Nothing.

Thankfully, the people next to us were having a very juicy conversation about how one man was cheating on his girlfriend and trying to break it off. I’m a notorious eavesdropper, so this was plenty of entertainment for me as I sipped my drink. Finally, Mr. No-Personality notices that I’ve stopped talking and started listening to someone else.

“You like listening to other people’s conversations, huh?” he grunted.

“Oh, yeah…um, you know…anything that’s interesting or funny or awkward. It’s bad, I know…I just…”

He looked at me for a second.

“Awkward conversations?”

I nodded.

“Like this one?”

He proceeded to chug his beer, slam down his glass and exit the bar as quickly as possible. No goodbye, no nothing. Just chugging of beer, and then out.

The kicker?

He totally kept emailing me. Needless to say, we never, ever, went out again.

A few months later, Andrew and I were out at the same bar and I saw him, with yet another girl, trying to make conversation and staring at him expectantly. It took everything I had not to go rescue that girl and apologize for the fact that she was clearly on a date with the world’s most awful conversationalist.

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9 Comments

Filed under life with titch

9 responses to “Chug, chug, chug!

  1. Maybe it is time to switch teams. Just sayin. 🙂

  2. Gina

    O-mother of funny! this a classic “terrible” date story!

  3. Wow. I almost feel sorry for him. He’s obviously painfully introverted, you know… “IRL.” Or “AFK” or whatever the slang those kids are using these days. But, whatever, though, because it was fucking rude of him to just leave like that. Not that he wasn’t doing you a favor. But RUDLY! Ugh.

    Also – framboise. YES, PLEASE. Yummy! The Peche Lambic is good, too. We should totally be drinking together like right now.

  4. Amy

    This is TOO funny. I think we all have a date in our past where we say to ourselves, “I gave up a night with a good book for this?!”.

  5. Jenna

    Pretty good post. I just came across your site and wanted to say
    that I have really liked reading your posts. In any case
    I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon!

  6. Haha yeah I dated a guy like that too. He was hilarious on the phone, and a great conversationalist. In person, an observer might think we were complete strangers sharing a table. So weird. But I got my revenge, I dated his best friend for 6 months.

  7. Pingback: This one wasn’t even a date… « Just A Titch

  8. Candice

    Wow…what a socially inept ass. So did you respond to his emails after the “date”?

  9. Pingback: Bad Dates, Part 3 « Just A Titch

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