Who’s Messing With Me?

cutnuts2

Yesterday, I was getting ready to update my blog, when I noticed some interesting referral terms. For those of you not versed in blog “lingo”, those are the terms that help people find your site. Since these topics are supposed to help you know what to write about, I’m always semi-interested in finding out what brings people here.

I’m not sure if you can read the picture, but I’ll regale you with a few terms bringing people here. A common one is “life’s a titch” which I assume people meant to use “life’s a bitch” so maybe it made their day better? Or maybe they decided to continue to wallow in their Internet Search of Crappy Things. Of course there is plenty of poker talk, which is funny since I have only blogged about it once.

It starts to get a little weirder after that. There are LOTS of “pedicure” and “summer pedicure” searches, which is ironic since I’m not a huge foot person. I mean, I get pedicures, and I think I mocked commended Andrew for getting a pedicure with me…but…um? I really had no idea there were so many foot fetish guys on the internet until Flickr. Or in real life until the Bachelorette.

I wish it stopped there, but the next search is “titch bikini.” NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. Doesn’t happen in real life, never gonna happen online. I keep hoping that there’s some cute brand called Titch or something. Because trust me when I say this: you don’t want to see it. Unless you enjoy bleaching your eyes.

But by far, the most disturbing is “he got cut nuts.” For the record, I have never cut anyone’s nuts. Nor do I display pictures of anyone’s nuts being cut on my blog. I’m not even sure what that looks like? Is it a violent act by someone? Is it a new trend for emo guys? I just don’t get it.

However, if it’s driving traffic here, perhaps I should. So, if you know where I can find some cut nuts, please leave me a comment.

So, maybe you noticed the awards buttons on my sidebar. They’re not just for show! I’d be super honored to be recognized for my blog, so if you’re so inclined, maybe you could click here and vote for me? I’m in the Guilty Pleasure (you know you check here a few times a day!) and the Funniest category (I make you laugh, right?). Then please, be a dear, vote for me. Oh, did I mention you can vote with different email addresses? And you can vote EVERY DAY. Well, you can. So…do it. It’ll make you feel better. And every time you don’t vote for me? Someones nuts get cut. Swearsies.

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