Something else I DON’T UNDERSTAND

I have a bit of a vomit phobia. Okay, I have a freaking HUGE vomit phobia. I haven’t puked in 12 years. In fact, I celebrate my Vomit Anniversary every year on Veteran’s Day. Sure, it’s weird. And believe me: I’ve done my share of drinking and still never gotten sick. My highly patented, secret system involves copious amounts of mint, Diet Coke, a bath/shower and a few other tricks in especially desperate circumstances. And in all truth, everyone who has employed my system has been successful at not vomiting. It works, people, and maybe, someday, I will share it on this blog.

But I digress.

So, besides my fear of vomiting, I have an equally intense fear of having other people puke. I am a good friend in many circumstances: I will bandage your wound and hug you while you cry, but under NO circumstances will I hold your hair while you puke. Never. I worry about what I’ll be like as a mom because literally NOTHING frightens me as much as someone barfing. It’s so bad, Internet, that I check a special website (what’s up Kids In Mind?!) that warns kids/parents of all sorts of “inappropriate” things, puke included, prior to seeing a movie so I can prep for any vomit scenes.

Anyways, now that you know about my little “issue” I want to know: why does the media include vomit on every damn TV show and movie? I was watching a preview for some new football reality show with Michael Irvin and there was puke. The Real World, Road Rules, etc.? Riddled with vomit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been eating dinner while watching The Biggest Loser and gagged at watching contestants hurl on the treadmill.

Am I alone in this, Internet? Does anyone really LOVE watching someone else puke? Is it some thrill for you to see the contents of someone’s stomach explode out of them, with gagging noises? Does it trigger some sort of positive emotion? Make you want to watch more?

If it does, I’m not gonna lie: we’re probably not gonna be friends. But beyond that, why do they show it? I can tell that a workout is intense or that a food is gross without seeing barf. I can definitely live without it in movies, where I have to see it and hear it on surround sound. Also, those of you who think vomit is funny?

You’re dead to me. DEAD TO ME.

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2 Comments

Filed under life with titch

2 responses to “Something else I DON’T UNDERSTAND

  1. Boys think puke is funny. Boys write TV scripts (as we all know, reality TV is also largely scripted). Therefore boys put puke on TV thinking everyone will love it too. I don’t have a fear of puke (though it sure ain’t fun to do, feeling quite good that I can’t remember the last time I puked either!), but I sure as heck agree on this front, it does not need to be on our tv screens every.single.night, especially as TV is most often on at night, when I am eating dinner. We need puke-free tv channels, written by lovely girls who like pink and butterflies! 😉

  2. *hugs you*

    I could have written this entire post. I’ve always had a huge vomiting phobia, I think it’s due to the lack of control and the feeling when it’s yourself. But I can’t stand when other people do, being in the room with them, the house, the city etc. It just doesn’t work. While on vacation two of the girls I was with went to take tequila shots and afterward thought they would puke…I had to leave the pool for a bit before I could come back.

    As for the on TV thing, I don’t understand the appeal of showing that stuff AT ALL. It’s beyond disgusting and half the time I feel sick for at least an hour after watching if I don’t have the quick reflexes to cover my eyes/ears as it happens.

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