I Can’t Run Sideways

On Thursday night, I went to my second workout at Fitness MD. I was really excited since my first one had been amazing, despite the fact that I couldn’t lift my arms the next morning. I think I forgot to mention the fact that I have to write down everything I put in my mouth for my trainer to see at my assessment. I didn’t realize how traumatic that’d be until I realized that yes, I had to include that handful of peanut M&M’s and the muffin and my coffee and…

I’ll stop.

When I came in, I met the owner and we started talking, and he warned me that tonight’s class was “gonna push me.” I must have looked frightened, because he said, “IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE PUSHED, YOU SHOULD GO TO CURVES.” And then laughed maniacally. Off to a fine start!

According to the schedule, Thursday’s class was “Core and Agility.” This was a bit disconcerting, because while I have a large core, I have no agility. In fact, I can be a bit of a klutz. I walked in to see cloth ladders on the ground, aerobic steps, cones and lots of places to run. We kicked off the workout with another BIG LAP—a full half mile, if you’ve forgotten already, unlike my thighs, who will never forget. After that glorious sweat-fest, we started doing drills. Um, in case this isn’t blatantly obvious, I am not an athlete. The only drills I participate in are of the fire variety, where I herd kids out the door and on to the field where I count them. That’s the extent of my “drill” experience.

For the hour following, I zigged and zagged and ran and leapt over steps and ran sideways and backwards. The only good thing: I didn’t fall, not even once. The bad: I cannot run sideways to save my life. Not even a little. I am sure everyone in my group hated me because I was definitely the slow kid in the group. Finally, I just let people lap me. Going to Curves sounded extra appealing right about then.

But wait! There’s more! When we finished that, we did ab work. We did planks and jacknifes and things I’ve never, ever heard of. Oh, and if people didn’t hate me enough for slowing down their drills, the best was that after we were separated into groups during this ab work. One group crunched and did abs, while waiting for the other group to run a lap. No one could stop until all members of the other group were back from running. Needless to say, the other group was hating life, all thanks to me.

Despite being slightly humilated and totally exhausted, this class added yet another dimension to why I want to succeed: competitiveness. I hate being the worst at anything, and I had my ass handed to me. I want to improve, obviously to be healthier, but because I want to be faster. I don’t want to hold up ab exercises for an entire group. And damn it, it’d be cool to be able to run sideways.

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1 Comment

Filed under FATTY!

One response to “I Can’t Run Sideways

  1. “while I have a large core, I have no agility.” — bwahahahahahhahaha!!! Loves it. Congrats you, on the workouts!

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