An Open Letter to TLC (yes, The Learning Channel)

Dear TLC,

I feel like we know one another really well now, you know, since I’ve spent the last three days of my life half-sleeping on the couch with your shows in the background. And let me say, well done! The episodes of “What Not To Wear” proved both interesting and informative and I am so grateful for that. I will never, ever wear camo cargo shorts or a pair of wings to wander around. Your job is done, in that regard. I could live without the creepy hospital shows for sure. Not my cup of tea. But the home buying shows are awesome and those Baby Stories are sweet.

But we do need to talk about something. Can I offer you some feedback?

There are so many family shows, TLC. I mean, really?! Jon & Kate: Plus 8, 18,000 Kids and Counting, Little People: Big World and the newest, Table For 1200. Does giving birth to 5+ children come with a contract for a show on TLC? Do you just stand outside of hospitals and wait for people with a lot of strollers and say, “Hey, we’re TOTALLY willing to pay you to be able to film your family’s every moment!” It’s just getting old, TLC. It’s been played. I mean, what next? Octomom?

I am not judging those people, TLC. I really don’t care how people want to raise their kids, be it in the public eye, completely sequestered in home schooling (well, that’s not true, but is also a whole other post) or among chimps. I guess I’m just saying: enough with mommies being your focus. I mean, I’m already considered unimportant in the blog world since I have no children, so it just hurts to get it from you. That whole “attacked from all sides” cliche. Why not feature, say, a 25-year-old teacher, her poker playing boyfriend and their cat, living the dream in a small suburb outside of Sacramento, CA? I mean, I teach 103 kids, does that count? Or can I just go on some free trips? That hookup to Hawaii you gave Jon and Kate would suit me just fine. But, from your current lineup, I’m guessing it’s a no. You seem to have a “type” and I guess I’m just not it.

When it comes down to it, it’s not you, it’s me. This is my issue. But, I think we’re gonna have to see less of one another. Keep things casual, huh? Except for Jon & Kate: Plus 8, whose season finale I am COUNTING DOWN FOR. At least until I pop out some kids. I’ll look for ya in the hospital parking lot, and you can bet your bippy I’ll SIGN THAT CONTRACT.

With baby-free love,

Amy

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2 Comments

Filed under life with titch

2 responses to “An Open Letter to TLC (yes, The Learning Channel)

  1. Can we really mail this to them?! PLEASE.

  2. kel

    TLC is henceforth banned from my house. Not that I ever watched it, anyway….

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