Internet, I am not a stupid person. I promise. I mean, sure, we all have our moments of being absent-minded…but honestly, I’m a pretty neurotic person, meaning that I tend to have my mind and stuff together most of the time. That’s partly why this story is ever so traumatic for me.
It was early Friday morning, and I was busy getting ready for work. I was exhausted from a very long week, but so excited: it was my last day before a two-week Spring Break! We have a bit of a Crystal Light addiction in this house, so I was making a new jug of it for Andrew to have when he got up, and a turkey sandwich for my lunch. At the last second, I decided to make an egg to put on some bread for a quick breakfast. I cracked the egg into a skillet, turned on the burner and went about my business. All seemed fine and good.
Before I knew it, the entire kitchen smelled terribly. I couldn’t figure out what the heck smelled so disgusting, like plastic and fire and melting. It was awful. I turned around and saw smoke coming out from under the pan. I turned off the burner and lifted up the pan, and what did I see?
Why yes, that IS MY CELLPHONE.
I want to know: who is so stupid that they leave their cell phone on a burner? And then, it’s not like I accidentally turned on the wrong burner or anything that would be semi-reasonable. No, I put the pan down on top of the phone, without noticing that it was off-kilter and then turned on the heat.
Needless to say, I felt incredibly stupid, but I was reminded shortly after that despite this little mishap, I am not the dumbest person on earth.
After crying and having a total meltdown (get it?!) I headed to work. Since I didn’t get to finish making my egg and toast, I decided to stop at Starbucks. I ordered my Skinny Vanilla Latte and a bagel.
“Do you want your bagel toasted?” the girl asked.
“Please, that’d be great!” I said.
The girl looked at me like I was speaking a different language.
“That’d be great!” I said again.
“Soooo…yes, you want it toasted?” she said, still looking lost.
“Yessss…,” I said, nodding emphatically for good measure.
“Sorry! I was confused by all of the big words!” she said, half-giggling, half-irritated.
At this moment, I stopped feeling dumb, thanked my lucky stars for cell phone insurance and held my head high.